Christmas: The Train, The Student and the Old Person

To explain the story, I live in Southampton, and due to the UKs inability to cope with the snow, and any form of cold in general. I had to travel up to Yorkshire on a train, the only form of transport that works, and that is plagued with delays and other tedious wastes of time. But I had a seat reserved, so everything was well with the world.

I have discovered that trains combined with long journeys have more in common with a soul destroying demon dog than they do with the real world. They are pure evil. You can always guarantee that there will be a small child in front who feels the need to play their own version "peek-a-boo" which usually revolves around them staring at you, over an extended period of time, and not getting bored.
Horrible fact number 1.

As well as the child who has a weirdly long attention span, there are the token old people, who have adopted the ideology that the world owes them because they are old, wrinkly and have a hatred for anyone under 30.
Horrible fact number 2.

Horrible fact number's 1 and 2 were combined on this particular journey, and the old person in question was a particularly nasty specimen, she didn't like students, end of conversation.
I had a massive bag with me which I had managed to drag onto the Train of Evil, and put on the seat next to me (as there was no-where left in the storage bit).
I saw her coming from the bottom of the carriage.

I had 3 options.
1 - Smile politely and move the bag
2 - Stare out of the window as if I was in deep thought
3 - Pretend to be asleep, put my I-Pod in and hope to hell that she went away.
I chose option 3, but she didn't go away. Boo.

She came over, her eyes livid with the jealousy of youth and vitality (me...HA). As I feigned sleep with evry fibre of my being, she started poking me.
I kept the façade going as long as I could, but she was one determined old biddy, damn her!

To cut a long story short, this is how the conversation went:

Her - *Poking with her pointy talon* You, you there....you!
Me - *Grumbling* What?
Her - *Poking the bag* That shouldn't be there. I want that seat. (keep in mind there were about 10 other chairs dotted around)
Me - Well where else is there to put it?
Her - Anywhere but the chair, I want it, move the bag...
Me - Where else is there to put it?
Her - Anywhere but the chair, I want...
Me - Yes, you've made it clear you want the chair, please by all means, if you can find me somewhere else to put the bag and I will move it, and you can have this seat
Her - I want THAT..SEAT!!

She gave me the dirtiest look, mumbled something in the Tongue of the Old-Person, and shuffled off. She then proceeded to have a go at some other poor victim who had a handbag on the chair next to her.
Both bags were moved, and she sat next to me, Boo some more.
I took the I-Pod out and started to read, she took it upon herself to eat the biggest and loudest bag of crisps ever. Evil EVIL WOMAN!!

So, I put the I-Pod back in, and turned the music up as far as it would go, Hallelujah for overly-loud earphones that Boyfriend brought.

Victory was mine, she didn't look happy, but accepted her fate.
Good on her, she had the determination to have that for another 5 hours, at intervals of 20 minutes.

Farewell

:)