Life: Should worry less about snow

What is it about the English as a whole that seem to be rendered a group of hidden in fear, locking all doors, refusing entry to anyone from "THE OUTSIDE" when it comes to snow? The dreaded powdery white stuff that looks like it might taste a bit like sugar but in all retrospect just scares us to the core.

Every single winter the snow comes an the UK descends into ABSOLUTE AND COMPLETE CARNAGE!! The SALT WILL RUN OUT, we can't possibly do anything! PROTECT THE ELDERLY AND CHILDREN AND RUN FOR THE CARIBBEAN!! Seriously, send the most snow-fearing-idiots to Russia and then see how they cope.

For those who do not have the ideology that SNOW + THE UK = ABSOLUTE MAYHEM, but still don't want to go outside and die on your doorstep, then here are a few pointers.

A) Create a ring of fire surrounding your house that will burn for 40 days and 40 nights to ward off the evil that is snow. Use anything that could/might/you once thought would but now aren't so sure whether it will burn or not. Just throw it in there, it it blows up, all the better!

B) Create a large fort filled with duvet's, pillows, Monster Munch and magazines to wait out the evilness that is outside. Don't worry, if you do survive, you will be honoured by your fellow men for not complaining and being proactive about surviving the harsh, unexpected English winter.
                                       
C) STOP COMPLAINING! At least you have somewhere to go at the end of your hard day of shuffling papers and delegating tasks to others who you feel are beneath you but are actually plotting you downfall as you speak! Others cannot afford the heating, or don't even have a home. Stop being selfish and SHUT UP!

Farewell,

:)