The Head Librarian

I had an incident today that reinforced my view that librarians are still bully victims that have taken it upon themselves to get back at those who have plagued them since birth. They are people who have limited social skills and take it upon themselves to become to upholders of "Library Law".

Library Law cannot be broken. The golden rule in their culture is "The Books will Save us All", and their every whim must be obeyed at all times. You take a book back late, you are forever banned from their home domain, the Library. You will forever be prohibited from accessing the knowledge that their precious papers hold, branding you an idiot and failure to humanity for the rest of time.

Their is a strict code of hierarchy within the Librarian community. You must fight other Librarians to the top of a mile high books, with only a nail-studded club and spiky mace type weapons. Whoever makes it to the top first, is head Librarian, and they are the equivalent of Librarian God.
Like this.

I tried to take some books out today from the university Library, an unconventional place for any student to be at such an early time.
I need them for a feature due in next week, so I was doing some research.
The machine that can be used to check out the books was in a bad mood. It didn't like my student card. So I went to the desk. I didn't realize this woman had got to the top of the pile first.

Here goes the conversation:

Me: "I need these books, but my bar-code hasn't been recognized."

Librarian: "I'll just have a look for you."

Me: "Cheers."

Librarian: "You can't have the books. You have a block. You have handed books in late *gives the look of death* no books for you. No books for a week. No books!"

Me: "But I have an essay due next week, I need these books now."

Librarian: "NO! You don't get books! No books for you! You have a block. You handed books in late, you don't get to take the books!"

Me: "But..."

Librarian: "NOOOO BOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKSSSSSSSS!!!"

I genuinely thought she was going to implode.
I didn't get the books.

Boo.

Farewell,

:)